Developing Human Character (4/19/24)
In the Suzuki pedagogy and environment and in our Suzuki School of Newton, we believe in developing our students--young children or adults--as lifelong learners, confident individuals, and people with kind hearts. The expression of feelings through music comes from the individual's experiences in life and that our music can also nurture others. For this reason, Suzuki School of Newton participates in many outreach concerts and free events such as Pianos Galore on April 27th, the 4th Multicultural Festival on May 11th, Waban Village Day on May 19th, or Newton PorchFest on June 1st. We share our music to enliven the community.
Most of all, we are educators with a responsibility of developing respect and kindness in our students. We work together with parents in raising their children. Children learn from each other in group and musicianship classes and also through the Practice Buddy program by our wonderful volunteer Eleanor. Are human qualities such as self-competence, social competence and empathy, part of the important goals of raising our children?
As we approach the busiest time of the school year, we are filled with performances and graduations. These are meant as milestones to help the student realize their accomplishments. While the achievements of study should be intrinsically rewarding, that is the growth in knowledge and skill level are in itself satisfying and appreciated, sometimes other benchmarks can be useful. In music we celebrate finishing a Suzuki book, performing in a recital, or taking an exam to help the student identify their progress on this lifelong journey. What is important is to support these opportunities with warmth and love.
In today's world, these moments can be extremely positive but also can have strongly negative effects. If a performance does not go well, how do we react? I believe the key ingredient is "warmth." We can be encouraging and acknowledging of the positives and learning from the weaknesses. We can be analytical and critical, but If we approach the moment with warmth and love then this becomes a "teaching moment."
As I was considering the relative importance of book graduations or even music competitions, I was curious to know what type of person benefits and is even eager to be part of this type of "performing." These students usually have a growth mindset and look at these challenges as opportunities. I also looked into what type of parent is eager to have their children compete. This led to finding an article on parenting style.
What type of parenting style do you have?
In an article posted on the National Center for Biotechnology Information's website of the National Institute of Health, four types of parenting styles are identified: authoritative (warmth and strictness), indulgent (warmth but not strictness), authoritarian (strictness but not warmth) and neglectful (neither warmth nor strictness).
What I found to be fascinating is that in the early years, the findings were that performance in school and overall social development had measurable success with authoritative parenting styles. From adolescence, an indulgent parenting style led to greater confidence and better school performance. I found this very surprising. What I discovered was that the key ingredient was "warmth" in the parenting style.
I believe that we can acknowledge that the excess of performance evaluations, winning or losing, and the emphasis on just the end product may not be leading to the best results overall in having confident and empathetic adults. Likewise, these opportunities may be learning and growth opportunities when supported by warmth and love. Most of all, a supportive environment that focuses on the process and a shared journey can be the most beneficial to all--to the students, for the parents, and for our society as a whole.
Sachiko