Are You Finding Happiness?
This week was one of those weeks where I alternated between "screen overload" and technology exploration. In my exploratory mode, the teachers, my friends and colleagues, and I have been trying to solve issues of better sound and better concert performances via the internet.
As for the overload condition, I have been getting away from my screen with book reading. I was going through my bookshelf and came across a book that I did not know I had: Raising Happiness by Christine Carter, Ph.D., a sociologist at UC Berkeley. A quick read through this paperback book where the topic is really on parenting, I was so struck by how so much of the advice sounds a lot like the Suzuki learning and environment we espouse in our teaching. As we live this strange world of stay-at-home living and working, there are a few items on Dr. Carter's list that are definitely worth sharing. Here are her ten steps to happiness: 1) Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask First, 2) Build a Village, 3) Expect Effort and Enjoyment, not Perfection, 4) Choose Gratitude, Forgiveness, and Optimism, 5) Raise Their Emotional Intelligence, 6) Form Happiness Habits, 7) Teach Self-Discipline, 8) Enjoy the Present Moment, 9) Rig Their Environment for Happiness, 10) Eat Dinner Together.
First, I can relate to the need for the first step, and especially the analogy of the airplane emergency mask. If you cannot breathe, then how will you be able to take care of others? It is so important to find that time for oneself and to search for the inner calm that actually is the key to inner happiness. The second point in building a village is the Suzuki environment and the relationships we feel are so important to developing the human being into a caring individual. We share our selves with others through giving, showing acts of kindness, and even performing our music for others.
We as parents must realize the gift our children give us through their effort to improve. Our enjoyment of their attention and their gift of time is more important than their perfection in playing a piece or getting their homework perfect. We encourage them by believing in them and having optimism that they, too, will achieve a high level in any subject if given the time to develop their ability step by step. There is much goodness in the world, and taking 30 seconds to remember something for which we are grateful is enough to feel a new lightness inside.
There are many thoughts provoked by this simple book. Most of all, as we are not doing so much driving around from place to place, the best message I heard was to remember to "eat dinner together." So much can be gained from these daily conversations.
Parenthood flew by when my children were at home, and like many families we were so busy that eating all together at the dinner table was not a daily routine. This stay-at-home mandate has given me a second chance at these family meals together. Whether it is a shared Zoom meal or a family dinner among all who are sheltering in the same household, I hope you can find some moments of happiness throughout this coming week.