Being Happy
Just a couple of days ago, I had a very strange feeling---I felt happy! I was driving home from the Suzuki School and the weather was beautiful, the sun was shining, and I was going home with this feeling. It was so surprising, that I started to think about that state of mind!
It has occurred to me that we are always asking one another, "How are you?" We start out by saying, "How was your summer?", "How do you feel about the start of the school year?" or simply "What's up?" The response is usually something like: busy, excited, tired, good, and sometimes, "I am so glad the kids are back in school!" It is less likely that the response is "I am happy."
There are many ways to be happy. I found this article that has many useful suggestions on healthy habits that have positive effects on our mental health and feeling of well being:
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-be-happy#daily-habits
Nevertheless, it is important to value "happiness" in a way that one allows oneself to feel happy. I truly wonder if we feel guilty if we allow ourselves to "be happy."
As parents, do we also think it is okay for our children to just "be happy"?
‘Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.’ – Guillaume Apollinaire
As parents, we are concerned to give our children the best education, the best skills, so that they can pursue good careers and make a living so that they can be happy, not struggle, not worry about the future and essentially, become happy. But as the quote implies, I believe we must allow ourselves and our children to be in the present moment and just experience happiness.
In a Suzuki lesson there is a moment in the lesson where we play through a piece. It is a moment when the student, the parent, and the teacher can be happy because the student has come so far. The journey is never over, but appreciating and being happy in that moment is an important part of the Suzuki lesson. I try to take a moment when we play through a piece and then make a positive comment without asking for anything more. We know that improving our music is an ongoing process and that our pieces can have more things to work on. In my Suzuki training, I learned it was also important to simply show the joy of the music and not add more corrections as a part of the daily lesson or practice. Showing encouragement will result in more practicing. Giving suggestions for improvement can lead to less enthusiasm to practicing if not accompanied by a moment in the session when only praise--specific positive feedback--is given.
Feeling happy about ones playing or feeling happy about oneself can be achieved by looking back at how far we have come. Happiness can come from thinking of all the things for which we are grateful. We can acknowledge our good fortune and we can smile. Sharing with others, having humor, being kind are all ways that lead to that feeling of fulfillment and happiness. If we smile and say, "look how well you are holding your bow now", or "your pinky position is excellent" or "I like how you can play through the piece with a steady tempo," can all create a positive feeling. Knowing when not to say anything more can be challenging!
The day I went home "happy" was the day I had felt fulfillment in getting many things accomplished, and feeling grateful at how well my students played after the summer break. It is the fact that I have these moments of "happiness" in my connecting to the Suzuki School of Newton, to teaching, and to the learning we do here. How about you? Are you happy today?
- Sachiko