Practice Understanding Others
In the Suzuki pedagogy, Dr. Suzuki would say "human character first" rather than 'win competitions" when referring to his approach to teaching the violin. He was known for practicing and teaching tirelessly throughout his long life. In his book, Ability Development from Age Zero Dr. Suzuki talks about the graduation tapes he would listen to and then send back comments to the students and to their teachers. HIs messages to the teachers were focused on the technical improvements that could be made. His comments to the students always emphasized playing from the heart, being a good person, and encouraging to continue to be kind to others. This is an aspect of the Japanese culture: to feel that one has a responsibility to society to the point where one's contribution to others is greater than one's desires as an individual.
His messages to the students included comments like "I hear your good heart in your good tone" or "Your playing is going well, so now practice understanding others." He encouraged children to understand that being mean or disagreeable to other children would bring unhappiness to one's parents. Parents would like their children to get along with one another. In order for children to understand better, Dr. Suzuki would encourage children to try to understand the feelings of the other person. Did the disagreement or anger the child expressed perhaps cause the other child to feel badly, sad, or hurt? Reversing the roles of the two children was a way to better understand each other and to learn of the other's situation that may have caused the disagreement.
We live in a tough period where there is much conflict. Not only is there sometimes conflict among individuals, but there is often conflict between groups. This can often be rooted in ideological differences, but we are all humans. Even though we may intellectualize a point of view, perhaps we can negotiate better if we used emotional cues instead. In The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle, he discusses how success can be best achieved if first there is conveyed a sense of belonging. People need to be told that they are welcomed into a group and they are accepted and appreciated. Building these messages that start from "we are all in this together" helps to then resolve problems and the disagreements. As Dr. Suzuki had encouraged, we need to understand others by imagining how it would feel if the role or situation were reversed. If we can first send many messages of connection and appreciation, then it stimulates the sense of belonging. Then finding the resolution of the conflict becomes a common goal. It sends the message that "we are in this together to solve our conflict."
All too often, we are encouraged to think competitively. The spirit of winning implies that others will lose. This is not the environment we seek in our Suzuki learning community. We believe we can all learn and we can all succeed. As an administrator, decisions need to be made to keep budgets balanced and to stretch limited resources without waste. It is much like managing the family budget where we may forgo new clothes in order to eat better food. Those decisions work because people are clearer on who is part of the family.
As we prepare for our February 11th concert on Diversity in Classical Music, I am thinking about the theme of inclusion and co-contributors bringing their personal stories to our event. How does it make you feel to play your music on the violin or the piano or any instrument you are learning? How does it make you feel to listen to Beethoven or listen to hip-hop or even country music? To live in a better world, we hope to encourage this sense of belonging through making music together. We may all continue to have conflict, but hopefully as we make more human contact, we can all relook at the challenges we are faced with, and find solutions together.