“Belonging”
I admit, I am a busy person. I go from task to task with purpose and intent in such a way that it is hard to fit in the time for having conversations. This is the way of life we are all seemingly living, but is it healthy? Are we unconsciously preventing ourselves and our children from building a sense of belonging? Our children need us to create space in their day so that they can daydream, get bored, and then be creative. Filling a child's day with activities is a necessity for parents but also a hazard.
"Making conversation is critical to increasing your sense of belonging. It is important to mutually ask questions, make small talk, self-disclose skillfully and listen to people's responses. Keep and teach an open mind. Try new activities and meet new people."
I see more and more often, the absence of having free time. Children in the hallways may seem bored, but they can soon find creative ways to play and to meet and interact with other children. They build connections during this "waiting" time.
In our Suzuki School of Newton we have a core program--individual lessons, group class, musicianship and concerts. The success of our students is based upon the combination of the learning that takes place in these four very different settings. The one on one lesson builds a long-lasting relationship with one of our teachers who is caring, nurturing, and constantly adapting the instrument learning to the needs of the student in front of them. The group class allows our students to learn from each other. Not only is the opportunity to learn from a similar age/similar level student, but there is vertical learning where older and younger students learn from each other. More advanced players help less advanced and grow in confidence and self esteem in realizing that they have already traveled the journey of the less advanced student. Older students can model good behavior and cooperation for younger students. When surrounded by more advanced players, many students are inspired to work harder and grow towards being able to play better. The important component of learning to read music takes a lot of self-discipline and energy. Similar to sports and exercise programs, it is much easier to accomplish the skills of musicianship when in a small group. This combined program is complemented by the performance opportunities we offer. That is, we have solo, ensemble and special community performances in both formal and informal settings that are an incentive for learning and playing one's best. Through these four settings the Suzuki School of Newton builds a sense of belonging and after many years in our program, students find our school a very comfortable and accepting place to learn.
Sometimes, however, there are some who do not like the time spent in a group class or a lesson to chat about the weather, what a student might have done over the weekend, or during their vacation. This is important time because it creates connection between the teacher and the student and builds the student's sense of belonging. When we are only serious and only focused on gaining information, the experiences that build a sense of belonging are lost. It is through this sense of belonging that students do not quit. Students persevere and feel motivated by connecting with their peers.
I believe these elements are so important in making our school what it is. Our teachers are there and fully committed to the learning and happiness of their students. We must all work to encourage our students to keep trying and work to become better. We want parents to feel that they, too, belong to our school and can learn about how their children learn, meet other parents, or sit and have a cup of coffee! It is this sense of belonging that then allows our students to venture outside of their "comfort zone" on the journey of learning and aspiring for excellence.
February is Black History month. This is important because we must recognize that so much of Black History is not known. Many of us have not listened to their stories and conversations. This has led to our efforts to reverse the centuries of discrimination by consciously taking steps to recognize past mistakes and take positive actions now. We want to build inclusionary practices that accept people of all skin colors, cultures, and backgrounds. We want to welcome others and make us all feel that we all belong. Music can do this---we can come together and make our voices and music heard.
We must allow time for persons to build this sense of belonging. This starts with emotional connection and language that is not focused on "we" and "them" but rather "us." In order to feel a sense of belonging we must spend time doing so. In truth, a little less activity and hustle and bustle, will make us all feel more like we belong to a community and make us happier and healthier.